Posted by: Annie on: August 25, 2011
Yesterday, the armchair philosopher in me emerged. On Social Security Disability for 10 years, I’m often asked, “What do you do to occupy your time? What keeps you busy?” Or my personal favorite, don’t you want to work, be productive?
If I had a nickel for every time I wished that going back to work was a possibility, I’d be rich. I loved the nursing I did before lupus robbed me of lots of life, but continuing to work wasn’t to be.
Some retrospection followed. In between doctor’s appointments, tests, laboratory appointments, I manage to belong to lupus support groups, fibromyalgia support groups, I have several blogs and I also volunteer at a local hospice. In between those commitments I need rest and because one of my complications form SLE is pulmonary hypertension that causes quite a bit of shortness of breath.
Just rereading what I’d written in the second and third paragraphs tuckered me out! Oh, I forgot the part about water exercise classes that I took 3 times a week. Not only did I take the classes, but I needed to wear oxygen; which meant I was continuously vigilant about making sure I had enough of the right kind of tanks.
I’m constantly fielding questions from insurance companies about payment for tests and procedures, trying to keep a house neat (thank goodness I have the most understanding husband in the world!). Do you find yourself making a sea of lists to ask this doctor and a list for that doctor? Life shouldn’t be so; well for lack of better word, busy!
To what end am I given so much time, but have so few accomplishements to show for it? You’d think I’d have the perfectly clean house all the time, but truth be told, I’m drowning! Keeping afloat is what keeps me busy!