An internal struggle: Is there a God?

When I was young and even not so young, Mom and Dad had sage advice ton how to live a long and healthy life. Well, we may not be robust, but we try to make our life with a chronic illness as long and heathy as possible, it’s even more important that we follow those rules about getting a lot of sleep, eating right, drinking a lot of water and making exercise part of a daily regimen. I think it’s fair to add that a dose of spirituality or a sprinkling of religion or relaxation helps with longevity, as they decrease our blood pressure and heart rate. Because lupus is with us 24 hours a day, not taking a break and not giving us much of a break, it is best to have safeguards built-in to our support system to manage the curveballs that lupus may bring or send our way.

But, what do you do when you’ve DONE all those things and in spite of your heathy lifestyle, sleep and following the rules, life still hands you lemons and a curve ball? Some people turn to their strong faith, other faithful people see their circumstances as proof that their God has forsaken them, while for others who were ‘on the fence,’ this is still one more example that there IS no Supreme Being, no Divine Order; for, if there was a Divine Plan, this would NOT be it.

No matter how we chose to cope, I’m of the opinion that there’s no right way or wrong way. It is OUR decision, OUR choice. I think this past week I was on the fence and chose the latter.The fact that I made a choice, however right or wrong it MAY be, was freeing. But, that choice doesn’t allow for me to deny the existence of an all-powerful being one minute and flip-flop the next minute and pray! Only politicians can do that!

But, coping with a chronic illness that can be life-threatening is not a joke, nor is their time to invoke the behaviors of politicians.

I believe that many of us are good examples of doing everything perfectly and still, life began to  throw lemons at us; only this time the lemons were sour-or even rotten!

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16 thoughts on “An internal struggle: Is there a God?

  1. My pastor says that it is when we are on the cusp of making a choice that we are often tested the hardest. Is life perfect? Not on this earth and it never will be. We are promised perfection, no more suffering no more tears, upon His return. We are warned that we will go through trials and tribulations until that time. I am reminded of the story of the butterfly. It goes something like this, a man was observing the struggle of a butterfly in getting out of it’s cocoon, thinking that he would help, he cut the cocoon and released the butterfly. Unfortunately, the butterfly had not completed it’s metamorphis and was doomed because it could not survive half way between the caterpillar stage and the butterfly stage.
    We are like that butterfly and sometimes the change that we have to go through is extremely hard, but the rewards are wonderful. Perhaps they are not in this life, but this life is only a temporary step before the wonders that are offered by our Lord Jesus Christ for those that follow Him. Can we even begin to compare life here on earth to what awaits us?
    My pastor also equates suffering in this way, Satan would have no reason to put all these tribulations on our heads if we were following his will, look at Job as an example, God knew what he could endure, He knows what we can endure as well.
    God bless you my friend, I love you!

  2. It is a question that every human should ask, because the answer connects powerfully to three other primal questions. Where did I come from? Why am I alive? How should I then live? Your questions are indeed worthy of deep thought soul-seeking! 🙂 LA

      • LA, I’m sorry, I answered the wrong question! But it is a basic question that all need to answer and ponder. There’s not an easy answer, but for some, more than others.

  3. If I didn’t believe in God, I never would have survived this long. I choose to believe in God because with Him, I am never alone. All I have to do is pray for Him to watch over me and I feel safe. Lupus sucks but I have to believe that there are way worst things that my Father in Heaven has protected me from. That gives me peace. My faith in God is the most amazing and precious gift in my life, no matter how bad things may be for me on earth.

    • And I do understand that my symptoms are not nearly as bad as they could be. For that, I am blessed and because of that, I pray for everyone who is suffering.

      • My symptoms seem to have goon from bad to worse; a normal reaction to something like is to question, “why” and be pensive in outlook.

          • I’m sure there will be relief and part of that relief will come from spiritual rest. I’m not ready to say, RELIGIOUS faith, but since I’m a spiritual person, I CAN comfortably ‘go there.’

            • =) Funny…I say that I am NOT religious. I am Christian. My faith is strong, I pray very often, but I really don’t like church and haven’t been for about 10 years.

    • If it was a matter of choice, I would believe. But it seems that it is a matter of taking that blind leap of faith that requires suspending all belief in other things. Kind of like taking a leap into an abyss and trusting that before you’re killed, you’ll sprout wings. THAT, my friend, is a trust that I haven’t been able to muster.

      • I understand what you are saying and we all work at our own pace. But you are choosing not to take that leap so it is still a matter of choice. =) Like Rush says in the song Freewill, “if you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.”

        • Oh, I know that is a choice, a choice that I’ve made, but I can’t seem to ‘unchoose’ it and return to life when I had chosen faith.

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