Bucket list or Dump list?

‘I know God won’t give me more than I can handle, I just wish He didn’t trust me so much!’ Why that saying by Mother Teresa on a colorful refrigerator magnet jumped off the shelves and into my cart; I don’t know. For some time, I thought it meant that God won’t send more lupus-related problems my way than I can handle; and the ones that I couldn’t? Why, I should turn them over to anyone who would listen.

Turning over my lupus-related problems to anyone who would listen seemed right at the time; and that became my ‘dump list.’ Sort of like my ‘bucket list! Well, my dump list was a list of people I could rely upon to listen to any lupus problems.

But then I noticed that the longer my ‘dump list’ grew, the fewer phone calls or the shorter the visits from those ‘friends’ became. Who wants a repeating role on the receiving end of complaints and on the giving end of support?

So, I resolved to put more emphasis on shortening that ‘dump list’ and ‘lengthening the ‘bucket list. Sure, I can’t physically do all the things on my ‘bucket list’ but I don’t have to moan about that loss to the world!

At first, not burdening all who came within earshot with all my woes was quite an adjustment, But I learned that the shorter the ‘dump list’ became, the fewer the flares, the intensity of the flares and the ‘bucket list’ has returned. “God’s in His Heaven, All’s Right with the World”

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3 Replies to “Bucket list or Dump list?”

  1. I got this one – no need to send me a test. I only looked down a tiny bit and see this one. So I got this one…as I go from newest to oldest in this inbox I will send you something so you can see which ones I got and which ones maybe I did not as you know what you sent out. I checked the box below for notify me of follow up comments via email so if you need to write back via this way before you delete my comment here it’s checked and available. I thought you were getting a bit more settled in WP but see you are making some face lift changes again.

    By the way that survey I took for Univ of Nottingham UK for owners of list self help list servs was interesting. I was glad to hear someone is doing a project looking into them. I felt good responding as the ON list serve on Google and before that E-list and there was another owner before that – anyhow between then all, this list has been ongoing since 97. That’s a long time. And before this one, I was a mod for a list for young hippies that was only on AOL. Needless to say, we had mostly ON folks. I also had a web column early on that I took Q and did A. the web had next to nothing back then for good understandable health info. That was short lived by about 1 yr as it burnt me out. I hope I do hear more back from these 2 PhD doing the research project. With today’s social media, I know that our little ON group is still the best way to really reach out and touch someone and have others feel you are there for them. It would not work on FB or the short social media things. Folks need at times to have the space to pour their hearts out. I really think list serves and Blogs have a lot to add to web self help. But the survey was really well done. I am sure Yahoo groups would not like it at all that they used the self help owners list to email their mission statement and credentials with the survey request. I need to go through my ‘trash bin’ and save their contacts. I would like to know how their project goes. I so hope that I can capsulize work down to less hrs/responsibility and take more time to write to the group. I would like to write some more standing files and little seminars. Dr. Mont offered to do a live chat once a week – but I cannot promise him enough people would be there – and I personally cannot be at a chat every week – the other mods agreed with me and we don’t want to waist his time. But I am sure he felt like many of us do that if he could sit for 1 hr and multi-task while doing a live chat he could kill a lot of the drifter type repeat questions that come into his email. I don’t know how to run a chat anymore – it’s been too long since I co-hosted any. I am sure they are about the same – but I would have to find a way to bloc some folks and not let them in the queue line for questions to post like Anne R and a few others. But it would not take me long to figure out how to do a chat today – cannot like I said have changed that much. Anyhow…not chat, but I think there is a lot more I could be doing to make the ON group more viable and active as it once was. We also don’t show up on Google searches as high up as we used to – that’s too bad. But we don’t have that many ads and links off the site and likewise are not linked back off others which is how Google does their hierarchy. We used to show up 1 or 2. I hate that the ON Foundation shows up so high on searches because they do nothing! At least they did get rid of a lady that John’s Hopkins thought would lead them to tons and tons of email addresses of live bodies…which was the entire reason JH took over the IOF or whatever their acronym is now. They wanted it to lead to patients coming to JH. It had been trying to get off the ground as an org since the late 80s out of U Philly. I think there were 3 different heads that are now retired. But they got rid as I said of that dead weight lady finally who went off back to do next to nothing – she was one that really only ID’ed herself because she had ON and she liked it that way – and of course no one had it as bad or like her case ever. One of those I have described to you before who wears it like a badge on their arm – they have no self esteem or identity aside for this and finally this is what they feel defines them – not a means to move alone in the living with chronic disease folks at all! Now I think Lynn, (forgetting her last name) is a head Geek despite she is a PhD and not an MD. But that’s OK – they have plenty of MD’s around. Lynn wrote a lot of what was on Wheeles (sp???) Ortho Encyclopedia when it first was a separate entity from Duke.

    OK – not going to get to sleep here am I??? My mind is going miles a min. now.

Let us all know how bright you are and share your thoughts!