That’s the definition of chronicle; an ongoing saga! Why didn’t I think to write a journal or chronicle weekly progress with my shoulder? I could go on at length and talk about the osteonecrosis which caused the need for the surgery, now I’d like to share certain things that I’ve learned on my journey since surgery.
The 1st thing that comes to mind is that the operation itself is the easy part. I was in and out of the hospital in less than 2 days (although that seemed rather fast to me!) The real work began when I came home. That 1st night my husband and I shot from the hip and did the best we could; you’d think with my home care nursing background that I’d be all prepared for every eventuality: NOPE!
However, we settled in to a routine that worked for us, which included using cell phones to communicate that I needed help (which was almost always!). At least that was early on, but now I’m able to meet most of my own needs; it’s just adjusting that dang pillow or putting on my sling for which I need help.
I was sent home with exercises to do and my 2nd day home physical therapy began their presence: 3 days a week. They showed me exercises to do 3 times a day that made me work, and work hard at that but I’m seeing progress! I’ve been lucky enough that on down days when I don’t see the progress there are others who do see progress and bolster me up with their confidence.
I had my ups; I have my downs; I’d have my so-so moments, but last Friday was the 1st day that I was able to go walking outside and feel the sun in more than 5 weeks. You’ve heard of seasonal affective disorder, right?
My doctor said not to expect 100% from my shoulder surgery for 18 months. Why, then did I expect that same 100% only 1 month from surgery? I had to eat a big piece of humble pie and learn to accept that “it is what it is.”
Today, I drove, albeit not real far; just far enough to determine if I’d be safe behind the wheel to go to outpatient physical therapy. My husband didn’t tell me about any life-threatening danger, which I took as a good sign!
On this journey what have I learned? I’ve learned a lot of humility and I still am reminded of it daily. I have a picture that was taken as I ran out of the water at the Chicago triathlon 15 years ago and another as I stood on the podium and I really had to learn to let go of hopes that will ever be me again.
There’s something else out there for me now and maybe it’s making friends with all of you on the internet, reading books, and watching TV; but something is changing. something is shifting inside of me and I find that my support needs to come more from inner strength than external drive versions like the triathlon. “I don’t know where I’m going, but I’m on my way!”Hits : 709